The Low Carb Nazi

Snowy Day Hot Chocolate

Is there anything better than a hot, creamy cup of Hot Chocolate on a frigid, snowy, winter day? :sigh: Nope, I don't think so! But what to do if you're doing low-carb? Have no fear - I have a perfectly LEGAL recipe that we came up with, that will have you sitting by the fire place, steaming cup of hot chocolate in hand, in no time at all!

Servings: 1
Prep time: 5 minutes

Nutritional Info
Carbohydrates: 2 grams
Net Carbs: 1 gram
Fiber: 1 gram

Ingredients
1 1/2 heaping spoonfuls of Cocoa Powder
3 packets Splenda
1 cup heavy whipping cream
Redi Whip!

Directions
1. Pour heavy whipping cream into a mug, fill the rest of the way with hot water. Heat in the microwave for 1 minute, 45 seconds (or until it's hot)

2. Mix Cocoa Powder, and Splenda in cup - whisk until all the clumps disappear. :-)

3. If the drink has cooled, pop it in the microwave for a few seconds to re-heat.

4. Squirt lots and lots of Redi Whip on top... and squirt a little in your mouth.

5. ENJOY!!!

Cinnamon Breakfast Bread

This turned out really well! It's a modified version of the Zucchini Nut Bread that I made up myself. Actually, omitting the zucchini reduces the carb content by a LOT! 1.5 net carbs per serving? Not too shabby! It's great for a last-minute Sunday morning breakfast... just don't eat the whole loaf. ;-)

Servings: 20
Prep time: 15 minutes
Bake/Cook time: 1 hour

Nutritional Info
Carbohydrates: 2.5 grams
Net Carbs: 1.5 grams
Fiber: 1 grams
Protein: 3 grams
Fat: 14.5 grams
Calories: 167

Ingredients
1 cup Atkins Bake Mix
1 cup finely ground almonds
2 1/2 cups granular sugar substitute (aka, Splenda)
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup canola oil
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions
1. Heat oven to 350º F. Grease an 8x 4 loaf pan; set aside. In a large bowl whisk together Bake Mix, ground almonds, sugar substitute, cinnamon, salt, baking soda, and baking powder. In a medium bowl, mix vegetable oil, eggs, and vanilla extract.

2. Pour zucchini mixture into bake mix mixture. Mix well. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 45 minutes to 1 hour (in my oven, it only needed to bake for 30 minutes!) until golden brown, and a cake tester inserted in center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack before cutting into thin slices

Crispy Cinnamon Thingies

These. Are. So. Good. Don't be put off by the main ingredient (i.e. pork rinds) - you don't even taste them with all that good butter and splenda and cinnamon on them! They taste JUST like the Cinnamon Twists you can get at Taco Bell ... but without all those nasty carbs, of course. :-)

Servings: 4
Prep time: 5 minutes
Bake/Cook time: 0

Nutritional Info
Carbohydrates: 3 grams

Ingredients
1 bag Plain Pork Rinds (full 3-4 oz. bag)
15 pkgs of Splenda
4 tablespoons Butter
1 tablespoon cinnamon

Directions
1. Empty the bag of rinds into a ziploc bag.
2. Drizzle melted butter over the rinds, and shake well to coat.
3. Mix Splenda and cinnamon in a seperate bag, and drop the coated rinds into the mixture.
4. Shake! Shake! Shake!

If they become soggy or soft afterwhile, you can put them in a warm oven and let them crisp up again!

A W O L

I'm still here - haven't gone AWOL, yet! I just am not managing my time very well ... I'm spread too thin in some places, have an abundance in other areas, and am just non-existent in most. It's the OOS (Overwhelmed Ostrich Syndrome) thing - having too much stuff going on, so the ole head goes in the proverbial sand to avoid having to deal with ANY of it!

That being said - I hope you all have been doing well?? I'm coming along famously with this WOE ... but am going back to around 20 carbs per day. I really can't increase any more than that and still lose weight - as I've found out these past few months. I've probably been hovering around 35 - 40 per day, and have just maintained. It's bittersweet, really - because I've proven I can maintain (which is GOOD), but who wants to maintain still being 54 lbs overweight? Oi.

So, I'm back to 20 (or less) per day ... and have also started an aggressive exercise campaign. I really wanted to be at my weight goal by my birthday - and I have about 4 months to get there. Yeah... that's not going to happen, obviously - but I sure as heck am gonna try to get as close as I can! I've made fitness worksheets in Excel and everything. *nods in a way as to indicate this should show you how serious I am about this whole exercise thing*

The goal is to do a certain number of crunches, push-ups, and at least 20 minutes of Yoga or Pilates per day - keeping track of inches and weight lost once a week.

:sigh:

Methinks I've set my goals a bit high - which generally means, I've just set myself up for colossial failure... but not this time. This time I'm doing what it takes to get my body tone, firm, and sculpted. Hehehe. Sculpted. Well, I can dream, right????

Vanilla extract?

Q: Do you know of a good comprehensive site with nutritional info -- or at least the carb count -- for most foods and ingredients, including things like vanilla extract, which I cannot find anywhere?

A: I know... that pesky vanilla extract! How in the name of all that's good and low-carb, are we going to figure out the carb content??? Well, I did a search and came across a really good link that has the carb content of common foods. You can find it HERE. According to this site, vanilla extract has .53 carbs per teaspoon. Not bad. That's actually what I "guesstimated" it to be with some of my recipes - counted one teaspoon as one carb, and I wasn't too far off. Well - ya know, I'm just cool like that.

Keep in mind that this site only gives TOTAL CARBS. It doesn't provide dietary fiber, or any of the other things we're supposed to subtract in order to get our NET CARBS. (Remember, we only count net carbs. Dietary fiber is our friend.)

The Atkins counter, however, does provide net carbs - and they have a pretty comprehensive list of foods. I've never come away disappointed when I searched for something on the Atkins carb counter - well, with the exception of vanilla extract - which I was beginning to think was some sort of vanilla bean conspiracy or something with as hard as it was to find the nutritional information on it!!!

So, go... explore! Learn! Educate yourself about what you're really putting in your mouth! Ignorance makes you fat, ya know.

Google Searches

Occasionally I frequent my "visitor stats and referrals" page on this here Typepad thingy. It cracks me up to read what some people search for, and cause the link for my site to be published in the results. There have been numerous Googles for "Low Carb Clam Chowder", "German Nazi", "The Soup Nazi", "Zucchini Nut Bread" ... but the one that TOTALLY cracked me up?

"On Atkins and feel like crap"

Hehehe - those were the exact words that were typed in. *LOL* What a hoot! Now, granted with these search engines they tend to pull specific words from totally random entries. So, the results garned aren't totally factual - I mean, I have never said on here that I'm "on Atkins and feel like crap!", but I'm sure at some point I've said "on Atkins" and "feel like crap". *LOL* It's when they compile the two to make one statement that they get in to trouble: "On Atkins... feel like crap".

Sneaky search engines!!! Well, they're useful for a good laugh any way. :-)

Seafood Dip

I made this recipe for our New Year's Eve bash last night, and it was nummy-in-yo-tummy GOOD! The non-low carbers spread it on crackers, but I say - why mess up perfectly good seafood dip?! PASS A FORK!!!

Nutritional Info
Carbohydrates: 1.5 grams
Net Carbs: 1 grams
Fiber: 0.5 grams
Protein: 3 grams
Fat: 5.5 grams
Calories: 65
Net Carbs: 1 gram

Ingredients
4 tablespoons (2 ounces) cream cheese, softened
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 cup cooked crab meat (I used shrimp finely ground - it's cheaper and tastes just as good!)
1/2 cup finely chopped red bell pepper
2 tablespoons finely chopped green bell pepper
2 green onions, finely chopped
1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill (I ommited this)
Tabasco sauce, to taste

Directions
1. Mix cream cheese, mayonnaise, lemon juice and garlic powder until smooth.
2. Mix in crab meat, peppers, green onion and dill. Add Tabasco to taste. Refrigerate 1 hour for flavors to blend.

Atkins and Your Kidneys

Q: Lately I've been running into low carb diet nay-sayers who are all worried about my kidneys. What's the scoop with the kidneys and Atkins???

A: Man ALIVE, if I had a nickle for every time someone has thrown this "fact" at me? I'd just be a woman with a lot of nickles. Okay - the "FACT" is? There has been no scientific research, have been no studies, and no clinical cases to prove that having a diet high in protein will damage/hurt/destroy your kidneys. So, why do so many people harp on this "fact"? Well, my personal opinion is that it was floated out there by the bread industry to try and deter people from low-carbing. Heh, I'm such a conspiracy theorist! But the fact is, a lot of people believe that too much protein will damage your kidneys simply because it's been repeated so much. Even our educated doctors assume the information has to have been reported SOMEWHERE!!! But in actuality? It hasn't. However, the "Atkins vs. Kidneys" myth does have a close cousin: It is a fact that people who already suffer from far-advanced kidney disease will find it difficult to process protein, but consumption of too much protein was not the cause of their kidney problems.

Thanks to Naomi for opening up this can o' worms! ;-)

Groooovin' and a mooooovin'!

Hey, y'all. Sorry to take so long between posts - it's hard to keep up with everything! *pant pant pant*

I'm doing much better since my last post... have gotten a little perspective - set new goals for 2004 - and I'm ready and rarin' to go in 2004!

Tonight we're having friends over, and I'll be preparing a LOT of low carb goodies! If they turn out, I'll share the recipes here. I'm most excited about the Sausage Ball venture... with their spicy sausage, and cheesy bready goodness? I LOVE THOSE THINGS!!! And I've been jonesin' for a LC version... I found a recipe that just substitutes the Bisquick for Atkins Bake Mix.... ooooooo, I hope they turn out! I'm also making a LC crab dip, LC cheese straws, fried chicken wings, and of course will have the ham 'n' cream cheese roll ups, olives, and LC chicken salad finger sandwiches.

For 2004? I want to lose the rest of this weight. I've got 55 lbs to go, and I know I'll be at goal by the end of 2004. Of course my unreasonable goal is to be at goal weight by my Birthday (May 12th), but I jest don't think that's gonna happen. :-)

So, what are YOUR plans for New Year's Eve? You're gonna be good and not carb-out, riiiiiiight? *wink* And what about your goals for 2004? I'd love to hear about 'em. :-)

Be good... and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! *throws confetti*

Insane

I can't keep it together - I feel totally insane. It's going to sound silly and ridiculous, but there are a plate of beautifully decorated gingerbread men right around the corner... their gingergoodness is wafting over the wall into my cube... and I succumbed. I ate a gingerbread man.

He was good. Very. Good. And I want to eat them all. Yes, I want to devour an entire herd of gingerbread men - with their candy buttons, and icing smiles ... mocking me. Oh, and did I mention there are brownies? Oh, yes - brownies. And sugar cookies, and lemon cookies, and those vanilla cookies with the creamy vanilla centers. There's hot chocolate, and spicy apple cider.

It's like I'm in a vile, perverted dimension in which the Gingerbread Man rules - and I am its slave.

Though I shouldn't have eaten any at all - I have only eaten one. I haven't eaten an entire herd, and I haven't scarfed down an entire plate of brownies, and I haven't chugged multiple styrofoam cupfuls of SwissMiss. I only ate one. It won't kill me. And the rest of the day isn't a waste. I'll pick up and start over at this moment. Just because I cheated once, doesn't give me license to continue in this insanity.

Gingerbread men won't make it better. Neither will brownies. Neither will ANY food (low-carb or not) for that matter. Food won't fix it. Food won't make it better.

Think ---> S A N E <--- thoughts.
Think ---> H A P P Y <--- thoughts.
Think ---> N O N G I N G E R B R E A D M A N <--- thoughts.

I'm just writing to survive, y'all. Just writing to survive.